You hit me just like heroin
by skibagrant
Summary: Puck doesn't know when or why or even how it happens, he just knows it does. And he's not so sure he likes it, but he can't deny the facts. He's got it bad for Rachel Berry.


Puck doesn't know when or why or even how it happens, he just knows it does. And he's not so sure he likes it, but he can't deny the facts.

He's got it bad for Rachel Berry.

Admittedly, he thought she was okay during that two week period they 'dated' but he was on a mission to find someone Jewish so his mom would just _shut_ _up_ _already_, so in Puck's book that doesn't even count.

Having it bad for Berry is quite a problem in Puck's life of being a stud. You see, he has these set of rules as to how to be a stud, and he's pretty sure falling for Rachel Berry doesn't make that list.

Puck's rules are as follows:

Number One: Keep a wingman. Puck's wingman was Finn, but since that whole Quinn thing, Finn's been touchy. So, no wingman. Strike rule number one.

Number Two: Don't go after the crazies. Crazies always cause you problems in your present and future life, so it's better to avoid them. Puck's top three crazies are: Santana (You would not believe the damage she can to do a male person), Quinn (She's so hormonal.), and Rachel fucking Berry (No explanation necessary). Strike rule number two.

Number Three: Do not ever fall for anyone. Ever. Unless she's hot. And Jewish. And Not Rachel Berry. And strike rule number three.

As Puck mentally smacks himself for the hundredth time, he's pretty sure he can cross off being a stud forever on his bucket list; that's obviously not going to happen.

If he wants Berry so bad, he damn well is going to go after her, even if everyone thinks he's batshit crazy; hell, he even thinks he's fucking crazy for doing this.

But it's worth a shot, right?

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Puck has this great plan, and he's called it 'Operation: Catch the Crazy'. He thinks it's pretty foolproof until he actually sees her.

"Sup, Berry?"

Rachel nods her head, calmly says "Noah." before walking over to her seat next to Finn.

Puck watches her sit and then sighs. 'Operation: Catch the Crazy' is a failure.

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After his fifteenth time of trying to catch Berry's attention, Puck's about to give up. That is until Mercedes, Kurt and Tina corner him in the choir room.

Puck looks up from his feet and tries to form a coherent sentence. "Uh...hi?" Not his finest moment, but he'll work with it.

Kurt's the first to speak. "Okay Puckerman. Out with it."

"Uh...What?"

Kurt shakes his head then says, "Seriously? It's obvious you're mooning over Rachel." He grimaces then continues his sentence. "And while I find that mildly repulsive, the three of us are here to help."

Puck just stares lamely at them.

"Oh my..." This time it's Mercedes and frustration is obvious in her voice. "It's annoying. Just tell her. I'm sure she'll fall into your arms happily."

Puck just continues to stare.

"Okay..." Kurt says, his eyebrow raised. He waves a hand in front of Puck's face as if to say 'anybody home?' "I don't think he's in there."

Tina rolls her eyes then grabs Puck by the shoulders and looks him right in the eyes. Her hand raises off his shoulder and land on his cheek, landing with the sound of skin hitting skin.

Puck quickly stands, his eyes full of anger. "What the fuck?"

Tina stands her ground, not intimidated by Puck's height. "Now that we've got your attention, listen up. We know that you want Rachel. Shake your head yes or no if you understand."

Puck shakes his head quickly, not wanting to anger the girl any further.

Tina continues: "For the love of God, just tell her that you like her."

Puck manages to say, "Uh, why?"

"Cause we're so sick of hearing her fantasies about you!" Kurt basically screeches into Puck's ear, and he's pretty sure he lost part of his hearing due to Kurt's voice.

"Fantasies...about...me?"

Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina all say, "Yes."

Puck's eyes go wide, excitement creeping into his voice. "Really?"

Kurt rolls his eyes then says "Look, we have this idea."

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Puck's sitting in his normal Glee seat when she walks in.

"Hey, Rachel."

She stops in her tracks, amazement written all over her face before she says, "Hello, Noah." She then continues to walk towards her normal seat until Puck speaks again.

"Rach, can I talk to you later? You know, after Glee?"

She tilts her head to the side partly in confusion, partly in surprise before saying "Sure."

Puck does a mental fist pump before glancing towards Kurt, Mercedes and Tina. They all send him a thumbs up before he looks forward.

Step one completed.

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It's barely halfway through Glee practice and Puck starts getting nervous. His foot is tapping rapidly and his fingers are tapping along any flat surface they can find.

It's only when Mr. Schue sends him a well placed glare is when he can finally calm himself down.

He glances at the clock.

"Thirty minutes. You got this Puckerman."

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"So Noah, what did you want to talk about?"

Puck blinks then glances around the room, catching Kurt's eye and helpful thumbs up before looking at Rachel.

"I, uh...You see, I...Rach..."

Rachel doesn't do what Puck expects her too; she doesn't sigh in annoyance or tap her foot from impatience or roll her eyes.

Instead she giggles and smiles up at him, patiently waiting for him to speak.

"Rachel, while it kills me to say this since you know, you can be fucking crazy..."

She raises her eyebrows but doesn't speak.

"Look, I really...like you."

Her eyes widen and her mouth drops open.

"That was really a lame way for me to say it." Puck shakes his head, full of hope that she'll return his feelings and the fear of rejection.

"Oh Noah!"

He looks up from his feet as she leans into kiss him. It's clumsy and sloppy, but Puck realizes that in all his years of being a stud, no kiss is as perfect as this.


End file.
